How I stole from Red Robin with an apology from the manager

We get a coupon for our kids to get a free kids’ meal on their birthdays, so last night Kaylee, Sienna, and I went out for a girls’ night. (Last week, Ethan and Daddy got to go.) Not only did I have two free kids’ meal coupons, but I joined the Red Royalty program and had a coupon for a free appetizer. So I was already kind of feeling guilty – getting three meals and an appetizer for the price of just one hamburger seems kinda, um, not fair?? That didn’t stop me from going, though.

Both girls ordered Mac’n’Cheese and mandarin oranges. I ordered some kind of queso dip for our appetizer and a burger for myself. Out of guilt, I also ordered a pop.

Halfway through dinner, the girls announced they had to pee. Since it was just me with them, all of us left the table. When we got back, everything except Kaylee’s macaroni was cleared away. Our waitress rushed over and apologized and said the bus boy thought we had left. So she ordered more dip and another full kids’ meal for us. I asked if she could put them in a to-go box since we were really done eating anyway.

The manager came over several times to apologize and chit-chat and make sure I wasn’t angry. I really really wanted to say that I honestly just wanted our ice cream and check so we could leave, but I smiled and nodded and gave my best, “Ok, you can leave now” face.

So, of course, they brought ice cream to our table and sang “happy birthday” and gave the girls balloons. Since both girls were wearing the crowns they made this summer, the waitress deduced that Sienna wanted a pink balloon and Kaylee a purple one. Of course, Kaylee let hers go, so they had to go get another one.

While they were eating, Kaylee also dropped her ice cream spoon and then she dropped my coat onto the spoon. Twenty seven napkins later, our check came and I gave our server the coupons. When she brought back the adjusted bill, they’d only removed one of the kids’ meals. Boy, I think she must have wanted me to leave as much as I wanted to leave when I said, “Um, did you see that I had coupons for both their meals?” I’m also sure that when our original bill for $25 was brought down to $12 added to the fact that they stole our food and took forever to bring us everything, she thought her tip would be terrible. Good thing for her, I have great sympathy for servers and tipped her generously based on the original amount plus some. Cuz she was really nice and it wasn’t her fault I had so much free food.

By the time we left we had either eaten or were bringing home in a to-go bag:

• Three orders of mac’n’cheese
• Two sides of mandarin oranges
• Two full orders of chips and queso
• Three chocolate milks
• Three pops
• A burger
• Two orders of fries (they gave us extra to take home and I don’t even like their fries!)
• Two sundaes
• Two (three, if you count the one on their ceiling) balloons

All for $12 plus a tip. Happy birthday, girlies!

80 Ultrasounds

In honor of my kids’ birthdays – last week Ethan turned 6 and tomorrow Kaylee and Sienna turn 4 – I thought I’d mention one of the unique gifts I received while I was pregnant with them:

Most people get 1, 2, or maybe 3 ultrasounds of their babies. I estimate that between Ethan and the girls, I had 80.

I got pregnant with Ethan through an IUI (in-uterine insemination). My reproductive endocrinologist was great and let us have an ultrasound every other week after we found out I was pregnant – until I was 13 weeks. So that’s 5. I had some cramping/bleeding at 16 weeks, so they did another. Then I had the “normal” 20 week ultrasound. Then, at 25 weeks, I was having regular contractions so I went into the hospital where they were able to stop the contractions. They did an ultrasound then to make sure everything was ok and, of course, it wasn’t. I had two more that same day. We’re up to 10, if you’re wondering. After that, I had two ultrasounds every week until Ethan was born at 39 weeks. So that’s 48 more. And there were at least 3 more with specialists – heart and lung guys. So 62 for my buddy.

The girls were what people call “spontaneous twins.” I mentioned before that they actually were triplets at first, but we lost one. Even though they happened “naturally,” my RE let me be his patient for the first trimester. 5 ultrasounds. Then I asked the maternal fetal medicine doctors who delivered Ethan if they would let me be their patient again since technically twins make you “high risk.” They agreed and it’s routine for them to do one ultrasound a month until the third trimester when it becomes one a week. So that’s about 13 more.

I could have lived without all the drama surrounding my pregnancy with Ethan – and I really would have loved to spare him the surgery he had. Twins are great. A twin pregnancy? Well, it’s a unique experience that I am glad I will never relive. Yet, had I not been blessed with either of these rather undesirable experiences, I would have been just another pregnant lady with one or two ultrasounds per pregnancy.

So thanks, kids, for bringing some drama into Mama’s life. And Happy Birthday, munchkins. 🙂

Thanks-what? I can’t hear you… la-la-la.

Right now, I have a kid in time-out. I have another kid doing singing loudly in my ear and the other is jumping up and down like the floor is on fire and beat-boxing.

Earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe on the baby doll cradle after stepping on a block and nearly breaking my ankle. Sienna took Kaylee’s book and then Kaylee retaliated by screaming. Ethan whined that he didn’t want to wear the nice clothes I picked out for him.

All week, I’ve been on edge because my kids are driving me crazy.

I learned yesterday that a baby we’ve been praying for (he needed a lung transplant) died. He was just over two weeks old. This same family has another child who received new lungs as a baby but is not expected to live past 10. How is that fair? Isn’t losing one child enough? And why not me? Why am I blessed with not one, but three healthy kids? What did I do to deserve them?

It’s so easy for me to complain about noise or messes or arguments. Today, I’m thankful that there’s a bunch of noise, toys, and chaos around me. It means my kids are here with me.

An Apology (or not)

I apologize that Ethan is perfect. Ok. I’m just joking – I mean, I think he is about as close to perfect as you can get but doesn’t every mom think that about her kids? (Lest you think I’m playing favorites, I do think the girls are darn close to perfection, too, but this post happens to be about Ethan.)

Yesterday, our devotional book asked, “What makes you sad?”

Sienna said, “When someone takes my toy and I want to keep playing with it.”

Kaylee said, “When I lose something and can’t find it.”

And then Ethan answered. Oh, my sweet and wonderful little buddy. His answer was, “When the girls (his sisters) get in trouble and cry. It makes me want to cry too.” Seriously! How were we blessed with an almost 6 year old who thinks about his sisters with so much love and empathy? Don’t most boys try to get their siblings in trouble rather than feeling bad for them when they get spanked or have a toy put in time-out?

Once Kaylee had those candy Nerds and spilled the whole box all over the carpet. Rather than picking them up so she could eat them, I vacuumed them up. Ethan cried more than she did. Why? “Mama, it’s not fair!! She didn’t mean to spill them! Stop sweeping them up! Oh, Kaylee!” I gave her another box, by the way.

When Kaylee chose not to put away her toys after she was done, she was left alone in the basement to finish cleaning up. Ethan ran down the stairs and helped her because he knew she was scared of being alone in the basement.

I guess I should say that minutes after our devotions were over yesterday, Ethan was disciplined for grabbing the toy that Kaylee was playing with. And than he flat out said “No” when I told him it was time to get his jammies on. And he whined in his extraordinarily high-pitched voice most of the day before that. Sometimes he screams at the girls just because they aren’t doing what he commanded them to do.

So I guess I really don’t have anything to apologize about, really. Oh well. It was a nice thought anyway.

When it’s hard not to join the bullies. More deep thoughts.

When I was a Junior in high school, Tom and I had already been dating for 1.5 years when a guy – I’ll call him “Adam” because that was his name – asked me to go to the prom with him. He even offered to buy my prom dress if the expense was stopping me from going with. If you wanted to, you could say I was “flattered” by his invitation. However, I wasn’t happy at all. Not only because I already had a boyfriend, but also because Adam was a senior who was 22 years old. I kid you not. He was also 6 feet, 8 inches tall and had red hair that could put Carrot Top to shame. His face was a really great example of a “before” for Proactiv acne products. He had no friends because he had no social skills and I felt bad for him. Adam was not my first “pity friend” nor was this the first time my attempt to be friendly to someone backfired on me.

I have always felt bad for people who had no friends. It seemed like my duty as a Christian to befriend the friendless. After all, agape love is unconditional love. Love that loves the ugly, the unlovable, and the idiots of life. I had another friend – a girl who had bi-polar disorder and who was constantly threatening to commit suicide. I guess they said she did that to get attention. But this girl sucked the life out of me. She showed up at my house without calling. I’d get home from work and she’d be sitting in my driveway. It was like she knew I’d feel guilty if I didn’t spend time with her because she would threaten suicide whenever I had other things to do. I did my best to be patient, but she had no respect for my privacy. And she was clumsy. She nearly destroyed one of Tom’s guitars by spilling a full glass of pop right into the sound hole.

Another girl I knew was the most genuinely naive girl I’ve ever met. Terribly sheltered and never taught how to behave socially. She had a habit of sniffing and clearing her throat like she had a cold or something all the time. When she did have a cold, well… it was really a snot fest. She often spoke of her rich family in terms that almost certainly made people think she was bragging even though I’d bet money that she just had no clue she was saying anything that might offend others. I tried to talk to her, to chat after class and find out more about her life. But really, she was truly amazingly annoying! She never seemed to “get” what I was saying. In class, I always held my breath when she spoke because I hoped that she wouldn’t say something embarrassing – something that would make the rest of the class want to make fun of her. And she always did and they always did.

I made many “pity friends” through the years. Every lonely guy I talked to asked me out. Every lonely girl begged me to spend all my time with them. And every “pity friend” I’ve ever had made it very clear (unintentionally) why they had no friends. Even I, with all my supposed “agape love,” felt like I never wanted to see these people again. When I heard other people talking about these misfits, it was so tempting to join in the conversation and make fun of them too. I would want to rationalize my behavior by saying that he or she wasn’t around to hear the terrible things being said about them. And besides, most of what was being said was true. He was pretty dumb. She was often quite melodramatic and difficult to be around. She did make a lot of really really funny noises in the middle of class.

On a side note: It’s funny how people who say they care so much about ending bullying can be the very people who are bullying someone who’s not even around to defend themselves.

I knew better than to join in the terrible things that were being said. I knew how deeply words could wound because my own sister was teased just because she had curly hair and glasses. Besides, what if that girl had committed suicide? Usually people wish they could take back the awful things they said after it’s much too late. What if any of them had walked in on the group and heard us saying such cruel things? What if I was the only person in the world who ever showed them kindness? Yet, in the end, I didn’t know how to keep on being these people’s friends. They drove me crazy. Weighed me down. Took from me but didn’t give. And, when it was convenient, I let them slip away from my life.

The catch phrase “What would Jesus do?” often gets on my nerves because people don’t usually give the right answer. But people like this – and I know a few even now – really make me wonder: How would my savior have treated these unlovable people? The “Sunday School” answer is that He would have loved them. But what does that mean for me? Am I supposed to subject myself to frustrating conversations that make no sense? Should I have gone to the prom with Adam? He knew I had a boyfriend, he just didn’t want to go alone. Should I have invited the bi-polar girl to stay for dinner even when I wanted to be alone?

If I may be brutally honest, there were times when I thought to myself, “Well she’s already a Christian, so I don’t need to ‘witness’ to her. If I stop being her friend, it’s not like she will go to Hell.” I know I’m not the only person who’s thought that before. But it’s things like that we Christians want to hide so that the rest of the world will think we’re perfect.

Guess what? I’m not perfect. I still find myself giggling when someone makes a joke about a person I really don’t like and I often want to join in. Sometimes I think to myself that, in all honesty, I love my cat more than a particular person. And I feel guilty. Then I think about how Jesus thought that the person I’m laughing at was worth dying for. And I feel ashamed.

It seems like I say this a lot, but it’s worth repeating: “What a wretched (woman) I am! Who will save me from this body of sin and death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks!

Well, folks, it’s official. I will not be taking any classes next semester at Kent. I thought I’d take a screenwriting class because it’s the first time they are offering it, thus possibly the last, and I even signed up because lots of people I like from my last few classes – especially my current class – are in it and it would be a blast. But Tom and I are tightening up our belts (Except I don’t wear a belt usually, so I’ll just pull up my pants every now and again.) and I am really wanting to pour more of myself into homeschooling the kids – mainly to see if it’s something I can continue to do in the future. Can I balance trying to write and teaching my kids? I love doing both so much so I hope so!! Besides that, all of the other creative writing classes are offered on Tuesday/Thursday and I tutor my kids’ class at Classical Conversations on Tuesdays. That’s a commitment I won’t back out on!

So my goal at this point is to write a whole bunch of snarky satirical essays a la David Sedaris, and get enough for a book. Once I do that, on to a publisher. YIPES! I’m not sure where I stand with my poetry right now. I loved that class and the challenge of coming up with short bits of thought, but I feel far more happy with essays.

Now that I’ve bored you with that, I must mention that last night I made chicken parmesan from scratch last night. It was delicious. Not hard either. Just take 2-3 large chicken breasts and cut them into using the butterfly cut method – effectively making two patty shapes. Get a large bowl with about 1.5 cups flour (might need less, but using more makes it a bit easier), another with 3 eggs beaten with a little milk, and another with either bread crumbs or cornflake crumbs (gluten free!) mixed with grated parmesan cheese and Italian spices. The ratio of crumbs to cheese is up to you, depending on your flavor. One by one, dip the chicken pieces in the flour, coating them all over. Then dip them into the egg, covering them. Then coat them with the bread crumbs. In a large skillet, heat olive or vegetable oil to medium/high and cook the chicken until it’s nicely browned  – flipping to make sure it cooks on both sides – and the juices run clear. In a casserole dish, spread your favorite (homemade if you have it, which I don’t) spaghetti sauce along the bottom. Place the cooked chicken on that, top with more sauce and then slices of fresh mozzarella cheese – or shredded cheese. Bake at 375 for 20 minutes, until the sauce is bubbly and cheese is melted.

And since I’m just going all goofy, I’ll tell you about our cute cat. We got her from the Humane Society, which is probably one of the most depressing places I’ve ever been. I wanted to take all the cats home with me. 😦 There was no angelic music that burst forth when we saw our cat. More like a “Hey, she’s fixed, only 6-8 months old, has clear eyes and isn’t biting or scratching. Let’s get this one.” She’s a really great cat, too.  She follows me around and sleeps on me whenever I sit down. And she is quite tolerant of the kids – Kaylee carries her all over the place and hasn’t been attacked yet. We named her Tuco, which if you didn’t know, is the name of “The Ugly” in “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.” Our little Tuco is not ugly at all, but he’s our favorite character in that movie. Of course, we love Clint Eastwood, but we could hardly name her “Blondie,” now could we?

Santa Claws??

Oh boy, I’m in a weird mood. I’m actually quite giddy – we’re getting a cat tomorrow!! Well, I hope we are. We’re going to the Humane Society to pick one out. We’ve seen some pictures of available cats online and there are three we really want to see. I’m just so goobery right now. I love cats.

So anyway, I took the kids to Walmart to stock up on cat things – litter box (or as Sienna called it, “glitter box”), food/water bowls, food, litter, toys, brush, flea stuff, and a bed. And even though I knew to expect it, I was quite miffed when I saw the Christmas tree set up by the front entrance. Really? Really??? Everyone rants about it, so I’m not gonna go on and on, but sheesh. There’s no reason they do that other than to stir up people’s desire to start shopping for Christmas. Chances are, if you get your shopping done “early,” you’re going to see more things that you want to buy when Christmas actually gets here – and you’ll spend more.

Now, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to get your shopping done early. In fact, the cat (and accessories) make up 95% of our kids’ birthday gifts (since they are all having birthdays this month) and since I’ve been looking for things to suggest for relatives for their birthdays, I’ve thought a lot about Christmas, too. And I like getting my shopping done before things go crazy – well, I used to. Now I do almost all my shopping online. Pathetic? I dunno. Two day free shipping and almost always the best prices on Amazon…

The problem is, as much as I love Christmas, it’s not about presents!!! I want things, but what I want more is to be content with what I’ve got. I want my kids to be content with what they’ve got. And they are going to have a kitty! Tomorrow!! Yippie!

Ok, back to your regularly scheduled programming.